Have you ever been asked to join on a task, or a mission opportunity and think, “Sure I would be glad to help and minister in this way.” Thinking that your addition to the group of workers would benefit the goal of the ministry. Or perhaps maybe you agree because it is something you like to do or maybe it is something you are good at so a “yes” was easy to come by. Whatever the reason, even if you feel it is simply because God has asked you to be a part of this work.
Recently I had one of those “WOW” unexpected experiences. One where I thought I was going to do the ministering (that is what they asked me to do) but instead I was ministered to by the very people that was “the project”. Here is what happened………
A little back ground first………..I had been writing a book for over a year and it was near completion. Actually I was in the final editing stages. The final two weeks of editing the book that then would go out to the world…..scary to think about. Anyway, I had already had some other “assignments” for God that had hindered the completion of this deadline. Therefore, I had to extend it a week and felt like I could not ask for another extension. However, the task they wanted from me was not hard, and I didn’t need to do anything at home, but work hard the day of the event which was on a Sunday so I thought that was easy enough. I would be exhausted, but at least It would not take up my typing time with this deadline looming over me.
Now these people had no idea what my book was about, they did not even know I had written one! (But God did!) But the very event they wanted my help with was the heart of my book!! How could I deny doing this as I looked at the pages every day of my book, I could not turn my head away and say no………….
The event was a Valentine Banquet for the Bus Ministry kids and their families. The idea was for the kids to serve their parents. My job was simply to help them color place mats. That sounded easy enough. Now I love to do crafts, and most people know that, but doing crafts with little kids well, that is my least favorite group to work with……………………but, this was simple I thought……..
I asked some of my youth gals to join me in “serving”. So it was that after church that morning, I had brought lunch fixings and prepared lunch for my boys and the youth girls that were going with me. No need to go home as we live a good distance from the church and we needed to be at the community center by 12:30 or so. After downing our lunch, we left. The youth girls did a fabulous job organizing my job! They took over and were great with the kids. I helped decorate the tables that we had set up the day before. We put place cards at each place. There were balloons, candles, hearts, confetti, etc. It really was done up so nice for these kids and their families.
It was not long after putting the finishing touches on the tables that the kids began to arrive! What seemed like mass chaos was really very normal. But what I found was that my heart was having a hard time taking in the faces of these children. Looking into their eyes was my undoing. Just what did I see?
Oh such longing to be held, longing to be loved. Some eyes still haunt me today. Eyes that say does anybody care? Eyes of disappointment that their parents or guardians (many don’t have parents or one parent is missing) didn’t show up. I wanted to gather them up into my arms and make all their sadness go away. I wanted to tell them everything was going to be alright---but then that would make me God. For I can’t make any promises. I can’t tell the abused little girl that it will be alright. I can’t tell the little boy that his papa will get out of jail and all will be well once again. I couldn’t tell the angry filled eyes that would not look at me of an older kid whose dreams had been crashed asunder that tomorrow his dreams would come true. The eyes that just wanted a mamma to hold them.
BUT I could tell them about my Jesus Who can heal the broken hearted, and through trusting in Him, change their hearts. Maybe their situation would never change, but they would be changed from the inside out so that no matter what happened, they could walk through it with Jesus.
If paper had eyes, this paper, then it would not be able to contain the emotions that looked at me that day. It would be void of words to describe the eyes of the broken hearted, the broken lives and homes of these children.
Yet the most magnificent thing was that they were the most grateful kids. Even with many of them in situations beyond belief, they were smiling at me. It was really a mixture beyond description. A thankfulness and excitement for the party/dinner and the songs they were going to sing on stage later. Maybe it was the smile of a soon to be full belly of a kid that usually went to bed hungry. I don’t really know. But it was a tonic that left my head reeling!
The kids, though precariously, served their family the dinner one piece at a time, their faces beaming to serve. Then they got up and sang their hearts out about Jesus! It was so sweet, so precious to see.
Then while they were all eating 3 of my youth got up and impromptu sang. If I was not already undone, my tears fell overboard! I bawled. The praises they were singing seemed to open up the flood gates and I couldn’t contain the tears any longer.
Though physically my hips, knees, shoulders and back were killing me, I could not sit still. I just wanted to grab a hand, pat a head, hold a small one in my lap. I simply wanted to love them, the very thing they needed. The Valentine Banquet could not have been a more appropriate theme for ----Just lovin’ ‘em!
Now let me explain partly why I was so exhausted. The night before the Banquet, I had edited my fingers to the bone, but by 11:15 pm, I still had 11 pages to go. I set an alarm for 6:15 (the latest time possible! I leave for church at 7:15) for fear I would miss early service at church which starts at 8am. But for those of you who know me I am badly mechanically impaired.
So long before I was rested and ready to get up, I heard my alarm go off!! I groaned and got up to turn off my alarm. In the midst of doing so I moved one too many buttons. I was confused because now the clock said 4:05 am! Then it said 6:15am! I flipped all kinds of switches, by then I had no clue what time it really was. So to my dismay, I had to climb down stairs to see the clock on the stove. You guessed right, it was 4:05 am!! No wonder I was tired. I crawled back in bed refusing to get up.
I lay there ten minutes awake. I finally threw back the covers and went down stairs. On the way down I said, “I am not, I repeat, am not going to open my computer!!” I was so sick of editing, my mind was fried, my fingers twisted. The last thing I wanted to do was work on the document that early in the morning after not getting much sleep. I knew I would be gone all day, but still I just didn’t think I could do it.
I sat down in the recliner, the computer haunting me, laughing at me, mocking me that I would never be done. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of condemnation from my computer (the enemy). It just stared at me silently willing me to open it.
I opened it!! I finished the last words at exactly 6:15 am!! The time my alarm was SUPPOSED to go off. Now if that is not God’s favor shining upon me then I’m blind! So now you know just how epic the rest of the day, The Valentine Banquet for the bus kids, was to me. Over the past week as read and edited The Bus Ride, I read about the life of a bus kid. Her abuse, sadness, and loneliness leaving ugly scares on my own heart. To read about how unloved she felt was more than I could take.
So I saw that little girl I had written about in everyone one of those faces that day. Who could have planned an ending to my book like that but to visit the very hearts of this story that took place somewhere else, some other time with different lives. But the bus ministry is not held by time, it is needed as much today as it was then!
So I left there asking God: Who was the project? Me or the Kids!
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